Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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