oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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