You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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