dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
