Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
