Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I love black thongs
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
