Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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