I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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