So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
