I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize