Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
