Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
