yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she peed on how many people?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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