im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
