it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
