does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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