I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize