got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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