we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
