no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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