All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
