but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
