There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
