My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
