Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
OPIZZABONMYDICK
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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