WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
