ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
