Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
