I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
