Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
