Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize