maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I didn't notice because vodka
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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