i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Floor bacon is actually really good
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize