Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
