i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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