Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
