I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
