i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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