It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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