We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
