He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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