You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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