apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
