When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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