Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.

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(330): View more from Ohio

just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.

Fav 28 1160 5539
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(317): View more from Indiana

cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome

Fav 35 6037 2441
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can

Fav 17 6531 1230
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(250): View more from British Columbia

you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.

Fav 7 1453 3183
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(703): View more from Virginia

BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.

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(631): View more from New York

Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card

Fav 15 1107 669
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(805): View more from California

We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free

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(208): View more from Idaho

He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.

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