I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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