You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
