I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
