I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
