I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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