So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
