i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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