hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
