Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
