Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
