I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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