how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize