I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
